Just recently got certified to be an armed guard. It was kind of strange being in a classroom setting again but, as per usual, I aced the class and all of it's extremely boring instructional videos made back in the early 90s. People had leg warmers on.
And I'm not just talking about the women.
So apparently the NRA has a cartoon mascot and I haven't been able to decide if I find that knowledge hilarious or not. On one hand it makes complete sense as a way to introduce your children to the dangers of weapons if you're going to keep one in the house. On the other hand I had to sit through a video obviously made for elementary school students where a cartoon eagle voiced by (and I cannot confirm this, but it totally sounded like him) the guy that did Leonardo's voice in the original Ninja Turtles cartoon flies into people's homes whenever kids find a weapon that some jackass parent just left lying around.
Here's an idea, instead of just telling the kids to find an adult you could make some money on the side by informing them about all the fancy gun safety equipment their parents should have. Or you could go find Child Protective Services.
Or you could ask if they have any fish or voles. I mean, you know, eagle food. I assume keeping kids away from firearms doesn't leave one with much time to do bird of prey activities.
Speaking of firearms I'm apparently kind of badass when it comes to using them. Having never fired a pistol or shotgun in my life I managed to pass the range tests just fine. Hell, my grouping wasn't even that terrible. I don't think I'm ready for Top Shot, but hey, who knows?
Guess all those violent video games and movies weren't so bad for me after all.
On a more title related note I have never seen the original Hawaii Five-0, but the new one? Holy crap.
I have no idea how it works legally, but I want the kind of jurisdictional freedom those guys have. Of course, living in an action-style show universe where I can never die or get seriously injured would be kind of cool too. ...only then I guess I'd rather be a Power Ranger even I did get some sort of weird alien lizard dog as a boss.
You know, way back when I once entertained the notion of becoming a law enforcement officer...
ReplyDeleteI talked this over with my father and he said something that put it all into perspective and changed my mind about the whole thing...
"It's bad enough you have access to power tools, I'd hate to see what you'd do with a gun, badge, and some authority."
Mostly you just drive around in a cool car and write a whole bunch of reports.
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