Things get weird when you're on the road by yourself.
I've had to make multiple 12 hour trips by my lonesome before and I've figured out a few ways to keep yourself entertained on the way. I'd advise not trying any of these in heavy traffic.
Number 1: Music Video. Think up a music video to songs on whatever CD you have in. I've got this awesome idea for a Cage the Elephant song I want to do it. I'll go into detail on it in some other post one day.
Number 2: Radio Roulette. In half-a-day of driving you tend to travel through a few states so trying to find a decent classic rock/alternative station becomes almost a battle of wills. A testament, if you will, to a genre that lacks the distinctive punch it once had. Also I don't like country, christian music, or gangsta rap of which there are crap-tons of stations playing only that down here in the South. Hilariously enough South Carolina seems to have less country music stations than North Carolina. Go figure.
Number 3: The Foreign Guy. Use a funny accent when you stop for gas and food. I prefer a British accent myself as everyone in the South loves a polite chap from the UK. Broken English can be fun too. If you look ethnic then I advise using an accent that people don't expect (for example if you're Asian, try using a Scottish accent). Good times.
Number 4: Masturbate. Yes it's definitely illegal to do on the open road (you're in public you sick bastard!) and you really shouldn't be doing something so distracting while driving anyway. But haven't you always wondered if you could pull it off (no pun intended)? Obviously this is much easier for men to accomplish.
Number 5: Air band. Crack up some Dio or AC/DC and pull out your best rock band moves. There's the steering wheel drum kit, the classic air guitar (or bass), the keyboard solo, the head bang, throwing the horns up, and the Gene Simmons tongue/scream for you KISS fans. If you want a bit of extra challenge, try the stage dive, the power chord, and the crowd surf. Should you be successful the glory is worth the risk. Should you be unsuccessful I hope you have good insurance. (Warning: Do NOT use the foot pedals on your steering wheel drum kit.)
Number 6: The Chase. Find someone's car and chase them. This is more fun if they're speeding and you're a cop.
Road trip pro tip: Go number two before you leave. The toilet whenever you are (home, friend's place, hotel) is guaranteed to be cleaner than whatever hellhole rest stop you manage to find. In cases of emergency try to find a nice hotel (the kind with interior rooms rather than than creepy super-balcony kind) and use their rest rooms. Sometimes you can even get some free snacks while you're there (provided it's breakfast time).
Back to the rally though, I made this but didn't develop it into sign form:
"All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats."
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
"Before I speak, I have something important to say."
- Groucho Marx
Fucking classy.
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